“Giving undivided attention is the first and most basic ingredient in any relationship.”

According to Kare Anderson in “What Captures Your Attention Controls Your Life

A few years ago, DisneyWorld executives were wondering what most captured the attention of toddlers and infants at their theme park and hotels in Orlando, Florida. So they hired me and a cultural anthropologist to observe them as they passed by all the costumed cast members, animated creatures, twirling rides, sweet-smelling snacks, and colorful toys. But after a couple of hours of close observation, we realized that what most captured the young children’s attention wasn’t Disney-conjured magic. Instead it was their parents’ cell phones, especially when the parents were using them.

Those kids clearly understood what held their parents’ attention — and they wanted it too. Cell phones were enticing action centers of their world as they observed it. When parents were using their phones, they were not paying complete attention to their children.

Giving undivided attention is the first and most basic ingredient in any relationship. It is impossible to communicate, much less bond, with someone who can’t or won’t focus on you. At the same time, we often fail to realize how what we focus on comes to control our thoughts, our actions, and indeed, our very lives.

Don’t confuse what your priorities should be with what your priorities are.

Your priorities are objectively measurable by how many resources you invest in them, such as, money, effort, attention, thought, creativity, planning, concentration, pain, care and time.

Changing your priorities means reallocating your resources.

Self-discipline is congruence between your priorities and your deepest needs.

Of course, we all know how hard it can be to invest short-term pain for long-term gain. As I write here

A key to happiness is doing what you don’t enjoy. (That is, doing cheerfully and promptly what must be done but is not pleasant.)

But don’t underestimate the challenge of achieving awareness of your deepest needs.

  • Self-in-control
  • Tune into the genius channel 24/7
  • Doing what you must to get what you want
  • You don’t even know what you’re procrastinating on
  • Why art matters, and how literature professors could, too
  • Advertisements

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